Philosophy of Potty Training

I have always had a firm philosophy when it comes to potty training. Children will do it when they are ready and no sooner. It is one of the few things that they can absolutely control in their adult dominated and dictated worlds and they know it. They may choose to do it for candy, for a new toy, for a special sticker or just because they have finally realized that sitting in your own waste is really not that cool. For whatever the reason, when it is finally done it is because they have chosen to do so. No more, no less. The parent who potty trains at 1 1/2 is no more a hero then the parent who potty trains at 4 because really it has nothing to do with them. When it comes right down to it relieving yourself in the toilet as opposed to a diaper is a personal choice that only an individual can make, big or small. (Unless of course alcohol, stalking or illness is a contributing factor.)

The "they will do it when they are ready" school of thought is not an easy one to promote in this day and age of over rewarding, goal oriented living and musical potty seats. It especially took a hit when my son at age 3 1/2 was showing little to no interest in taking the leap and because he is so tall for his age, looked like a 5 year old who could just not get his act together. It also came under scrutiny when visiting my grandmother with my first born and I confessed my way of thinking. This stern, Catholic, they don't make them like that anymore mother of seven informed me that I had to make it happen. She promptly removed my 2 year old's diaper, told her there would be no more messes and instructed her to only use the potty because that is what ladies do. My incredibly brave first born waited till my grandmother left the room, then proceeded to pee buckets on her brand new white carpet. I could hardly contain my smile. Only the fear of being damned to hell by a woman who I am sure talks directly to Jesus kept me from doing a victory dance.
Yet, through all the silent doubt and sometimes verbal criticism from the general public and even close friends and family, I stuck by my beliefs. And let me tell you I was right! Both of my children were long potty trained by 4, neither needed a huge reward system (after all who gets a reward for using the toilet) and it was above all else a power struggle free, more than smooth process with little to no set backs. And that includes night time. Both came out with self esteem intact, a fantastic feeling of accomplishment and I got to hold onto my sanity. To date, it is one of my proudest accomplishments (though not really so much mine, as much theirs) and I have a feeling it will be rivaled only by them receiving an acceptance letter by their first choice for college.

So the next time I walk by the fifty dollar, do everything but wash the dishes musical potty at Target I will pat myself on the back and silently wish for every parent to give their child the one thing every human being deserves. The right of power over their own bowels.