1. He is very cute.
2. He has not had candy in a very long time
(since yesterday)
3. He has already eaten a banana
4. He loves me.
5. He is very cute.
We keep very little junk food in the house. There is one bowl of candy that clearly displays whatever the last candy bestowing holiday or event had occurred. At the moment it is filled with dirt laced Blo-Pops, gumballs and Tootsie Rolls from a pinata that was busted wide open at an annual extended family camping trip. The bowl is up high and for the most part is out of sight and therefore out of mind. But wait.......a rouge bag has appeared!
After a long overdue clean out of one of the 3 closets in our hobbit hole of a house, a pink mesh bag filled with the type of candy that is basically solidified, food colored sugar has been brought onto the scene. Word spread quickly through the house, candy has been discovered. Candy has been found! Where did it come from? (Leftovers from a baby shower favor). How can this be? (Who knows how things end up in closets. Who know if it is even a hygienic item?) Is it a mirage?...No it is very real! And the smell, my god the smell.
The children come out of the wood work. They come to gawk and they come to beg. My daughter remains the most level headed. She is older and has the experience to know that Mom rarely breaks down and starts throwing candy at the masses. Generally there is a period of thought, a review of the days diet, a negotiating period of one more healthy snack, a glass of water and the minimum amount of candy will then be allowed. In this case one tiny pacifier candy and one tiny baby feet candy. She with the most experience is grateful for what she has received and heads off pleased as punch for the unforeseen fortune that has just occurred.
My son on the other hand is an addict. A junky. He is holding the bag in his hands, rubbing it on his face and smelling it in a way that must be transferring some level mucus membranes from his nasal cavity through the flimsy mesh to the sweet little morsels. Perhaps this is his way of marking his territory. He receives his two bits and immediately starts making googly eyes at me for more. He is less versed in the resolve of his mother and candy. He makes a good effort but fails miserably and almost has a brush with the long arm of the law. That is a TIME OUT! But he pulls it together in the nick-of-time and manages to appreciate and enjoy what he was lucky enough to be given. Good Job Son!
Fast forward to 6:30 am the next morning. I am doing some very important research on whether Spencer and Heidi have had a child together when his tiny little pitter patter can be heard coming down the stairs. Good mornings, hugs, kisses and lots of love is exchanged closely followed by the need for sustenance. Off he goes to the fruit bowl. Does he return with fruit? Oh no! He returns with this tiny bag of candy. Like a bad penny it just keeps turning up. Crap! After showing it to me like he has just discovered a beautiful, new, rare breed of butterfly he puts on his most cutest expression and ever so sweetly asks for "just one teeny, tiny piece." My knee jerk reaction is to shout out, "Are you new!?" But I bite my tongue and calmly explain that it is far too early for candy. The sun is not awake and not an ounce of healthy food has been consumed. Does he want a tummy ache? (Yes) Does he want to feel all yucky? (It would be worth it) Is it healthy to eat a lot of candy? (He does not care) Feigning defeat off he goes. But wait, back he comes with a banana and a smile that could melt the icecaps if our SUVs were not already doing that. "Please may I have this banana, Mama? I looooooove you." I am suspicious. Banana consumed in four bites, further proof he is part monkey, he runs off to put the peel in the compost and returns with........THE CANDY. Bag in hand, one piece in the mouth he looks at me with the most pleased expression. As if to say, I have earned this and it is never too early for CANDY! Cheeky little man!
I fish the piece out of his cheek, firmly tell him that this is unacceptable conduct, walk away from his conscientious protesting, turn the corner and pop a piece into my mouth. There is nothing like candy in the morning!
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