Best Friends, Worst Enemies

Right now my children are playing beautifully. I'm not sure if they are building together, reading together, doing art together or doing some less savory, more delinquent activity together. Whatever it is they are quiet and peaceful, I dare not check. I only enjoy the moment. For if I check I will have jinxed whatever is going on and disaster will ensue. Asking "How is it going?" or "What are you guys doing?" will somehow be misinterpreted to mean "What problem can you both come up with?". Or peeking in and risking eye contact will only invite them to glance up, spot me and then quickly come up with the conflict of the moment, a complaint du jour or worse a plea for me to join in the activity.

Now don't get me wrong, I love doing many things with my children. Spending the maximum amount of time with them is the driving force behind me forsaking all validating adult interaction and choosing to stay at home and surround myself with these monkeys day in and day out. But I am not insane. If they are happily playing, whether it is alone or together, free of any needs from me, I do not interfere. These times are precious and I am not one to martyr myself and push my own presence into every and all moments of their lives. I can see the forest for the trees. These are wonderful opportunities for me to get chores done (okay, stare at the wall), read a few pages in a book (okay, magazine), or catch up on my email correspondence (okay, check in with my twitter feeds). I can also take a moment to pat myself on the back for raising such close children who can enjoy each other's company and spend beautiful, quality time together.

And then the three minutes are up.

We have a reached a new phase in our lives. My daughter has reached the talk in only a tone of disgust and exasperation to her little brother phase. As if he is no more than a piece of gum on the bottom of her favorite pair of shoes and being snotty and horrible will cause it to dry up and shrivel away. And my son has reached the wonderful stage of knowing how to act like a total little shit. I mean make my jaw drop, my nasal passages clear and all ability to speak coherently fly out the window little shit. I can't even think of any examples of such behavior at the moment because as soon as they are behind us and my stellar conflict resolution tactics have been demonstrated (i.e. "Now how do you think that makes your sister feel?" on a good day and "What the hell are doing?" on a bad day) I proceed to block them out. Full on post traumatic stress block out.

I wonder if this too shall pass, and they will once again become the best friends they once were most of the time. I have been told that fighting now results in a closeness later on in life. And a long lasting, functional sibling relationship is the long term goal of my husband and I. I just hope we have not been admitted to an insane asylum due to having to jump in and solve one too many ridiculous and petty arguments.